go vegetarian.

|Tuesday, July 27, 2004

got this in an email frm heidi..

Dear [name of a boy],

It has come to my attention that you have been selected as a
potential student of ACS(I). We are indeed pleased to welcome you to
our big family. However, there are a few improvements that have to
be made for you to be qualified to be one of us.

Firstly, your physical appearance needs alteration. According to our
school's tradition, our attire includes:

1. spiked hair
2. pants worn on the hips
3. almost completely hidden socks
4. shirts not tucked in properly etc.

Furthermore, you must have bushy eyebrows and tan skin to be
eligible. Thus, we would appeal that you make this changes ASAP.

Secondly, other than outward appearance, what goes on inside is
crucial as well. We adhere struictly to our 3 acts: Act Cool, Act
Attitude and Act Poser, stressing on poser-ism as the basis of our
image.

Act cool: All ACSI students are required to be adept in pretending
to be cool in the way bimbos will fall for the trick, even though it
is obviously not the proper definition of "cool". We do not want our
students to be cool but to ACT cool. This will include mannerisms
like acting nonchalant and
pompous that will create the false impression that ACSI guys are
indeed very desirable and good looking.

Act attitude: Due to the fact that bimbos absolutely love attitudal
guys, we emphasise strongly on pretending to have attitude in our
boys. You will hence have to act like a very bad person when you are
in fact an insecure and deprived person.

Act poser: AS this is the trademark of our school, it will require
no further explanation.

To adhere to our school's motto "The best is yet to be", we require
you to stop getting good results in school especially in the area of
literature, as this opposes our motto. You will hence need to go out
more with bimbos, have fun, screw around and be less concerned with
your studies.

Your Chinese grades need to be extremely poor and you will have to
hate it a lot. In other words, you must forget all your roots and be
a perfect banana. You are also required to be rich to avoid being
ostracised and looked down upon in our school. More emphasis will
also be put on sports to create the false impression that ACSI guys
are all rounders.

We look forward to your joining our huge ACS family and we certainly
do believe you have the potential, judging by your bimbo attracting
qualities prevalent in all our students. We believe that with more
posing, despising Chinese and acting, you can definitely be an
outstanding representation of ACSI.

Yours Sincerely,
Ong Teck Chin
Principal
Anglo Chinese School (Independent)

LOL man.

moo.
me.

-got milk?-